Subject: Ramblings of a Retired Mind (Joke) Author: 750il96erbill : member since December, 2006 : 1713 posts Posted on: 2008-09-10 09:12:40

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I
can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also
made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call
blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing
husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when
you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired
to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and
call it 'Pumping Rust'.


I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your
chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have
you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified
in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do...write to these men?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so
the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or
better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole

lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were
cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

'Enjoy Your Days .&. Love Your Life' Because :::

' Life is a journey to be savored

96 Isuzu Trooper LS 230000
01 Isuzu Trooper LTD 107350 daily driver
01 F150 Supercrew XLT 112500
The Old 96er, 117525, Born on date 9/1995
Oxford Green Metallic

Mods - Ultimate Cupholders, style 118 wheels and Bridgestone Turanza Serenity tires - 235/50ZR18, Led Tailights, Modded UGDO with solder, Depo Clear Corners w/silverstars.
Fixed/replaced - Upper windshield seal, Sunroof gasket, E-brake pads, upper backrest motors, cluster (BMWNA), trunk struts, engine cover, radiator, anti-freeze, fresh oil & filter, Wagner thermo-quiet front brakes, traction struts, control arms, strut links and bushings, 20% Tint including brow & sunroof, Radiator Shroud, Headlight Lense Drivers, Oil filter housing bushings, caps and rotors, entire headliner recovered, including pillars, sunroof and UGDO/switch panel, switched to synthetic oil Valvoline 20w 50... To do; Center link and tie rods, headlight lense, foglights.

• Ramblings of a Retired Mind (Joke) - 750il96erbill 2008-09-10 09:12:40 (153 views)