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Subject: Re: OT: I am getting married next weekend, any last minute advice before take the
Author: Simeon : member since January, 2004 : 1366 posts
Posted on: 2008-05-03 08:00:33

Congratulations!

My advice?

#1. Keep this thought in mind...ONLY the US Government spends money faster than a new bride.

#2. Always keep $200.00 ~ $300.00 in twentys in your sock drawer for her to find. Else she'll tear the place up looking for your stash and if she finds the real stash you'll have a problem explainig where all the cash came from and what it was for.

Also...make a fuss if you discover she helped herself to your sock drawer stash...If you fail to complain that she took your money to get her nails done, the implication is that there is more money stashed somewhere else and so your failure to complain will have imperiled the rest of your hidden assets.


#3. Say goodbye to the deviant funtime activities you're used to doing. Once the 'ring is in your nose' there will be no need for her to indulge your secret dirty desires...especially the one about the two of you & that hot little number that just moved in down the street.


#4. Palm Friday is a defacto financial holiday. Get used to it. You'll be celebrating it every payday for the rest of your married life.


#5. You will eventually come to understand the meaning of the phrase 'Praying at the Pink Altar'. Anyone with 10+ years of combat..errr...Marital Bliss behind him needs no explanation.
This phenomenon is like high tide...there really is nothing you can do about it.


#6. I would be re-miss if I didn't say it...RUN!


Congratuations once again.


PS:
If my wife hadn't been stupid enough or crazy enough to marry me, I would have been jailed or killed LONG AGO. So enjoy the ride.

:-)

Cheers,

Simeon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Madness Continues...



Rollin Doggy Style...
If you can't eat it or screw it...Piss on it and then walk away!



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